erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
