Whod you bang
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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