i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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