My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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