I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
