Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize