You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
