She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
