i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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