I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
