1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My vagina is officially offended.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
