I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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