I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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