I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
