Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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