Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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