so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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