it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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