im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
