Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You were trust falling into bushes
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize