Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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