The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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