Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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