i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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