I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
