Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
