he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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