Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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