My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
