She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize