even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
