haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Non-Jews are for practice
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
