Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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