Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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