Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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