I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
