So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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