nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
