Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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