i need an iv and a liver transplant
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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