This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
