It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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