Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
