"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
