You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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