Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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