Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
