she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
