4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
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I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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