And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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