I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
