Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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