I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
