yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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