dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
