hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Help. Why am I so naked?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
