I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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