Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
