I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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