Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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