After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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