Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
