we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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