What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
