Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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