he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
