Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She's the barista slut.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
